Limbo

I was released from the Field Service Engineer position with the Swiss printing press firm due to lack of enthusiasm. Apparently, my depression was still written all over my face and I had tried to change careers too soon.

.In August of 2000, two months into the job, my manager and his Director came to Cincinnati where we were doing a job and called me outside for a talk. He questioned whether I have the will to do the job.

I thought my record spoke for itself. In the months I was on the job, I was never late, never went home early and never took a day off. Looking back, my mistake was that I didn't socialize much outside of work. I'll forgive myself that as my cowrkers were not to my liking, even on my best days. I was informed of the termination in the sitting room of a hotel in downtown Chicago. On the way home I felt relieved while driving north on Lake Shore Drive and blasting, ironically, "Takin' Care of Business" by B.T.O. on the radio.

I filed for unemployment, but didn't collect as I had landed a tech support position with an I.T. company in the far NW suburbs within a week. It was a contract to hire position, with the hiring decision to be made after four months, on December 31, 2000.

Long story short, I didn't get the job, but I do feel I gave it my best and look back at that position as a turning point. I met my goals of being at the office @ 7:00 a.m. every day in a punctual manner and never leaving my desk to wander due to boredom. The medicine and therapy were paying off. I was becoming consistent in my behaviors at work and at home. I payed special attention to sleep patterns and quiet time. I eliminated interruptions at home and focused on being rested and ready for the next days work.

Eager to return to athletic training, I knew it would compromise my performance at work, so I kept it to a realistic minimum, just enouigh to be interesting and never too much to interfere with my day job. I even started dating, but nothing evolved from it. When informed of the decision that I would not be retained, I blurted out "Is this a performance issue?" My Director responded no, you're asking for too much money and we found a guy willing to do the same job for less. Lesson learned. Money doesn't come easily. No loss really, that job was just a way to keep me busy during the day and stop me from ruminating on the past.